Matthew 11:29-30
29. "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30. for my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
(This scripture may not seem relative right now, but it will before you finish, I promise!)
Today's subject is about learning to live with the fact that there are people who just do not like us! Oh sure, they say they love you or me with the love of the Lord, but their heart is not in it! It is obvious, and we all know it! They know it and (I am sure they hope I do not), I know it! I just do, and that is that! In some instances others have out and out told me that another doesn't care for me! I know this has happened to you as well. For the record, that "other" person probably doesn't have your best interests at heart either! Yep... a difficult thing to swallow, but there it is nonetheless and I am left to deal with this lovely knowledge! And DEAL with it, I MUST!
Yeah... not what I wanted to share today. I had this entirely different blog ready about the fear of the Lord! It was awesome! I've spent the entire week preparing it! And now God says this... and even confirmed it through a sweet text someone sent me:
"As leaders, when we demand perfection, we tell people to look to us.
When we are transparent with our own imperfections and are gracious
of the imperfections of others, we point people to Him."
Sooooo... I guess today I am pointing toward HIM with a big foamy finger! lol!
This blog may seem a ramble of thoughts and junk, but maybe that is what God is trying to say to me! "It's just junk. Shred the junk"! I certainly haven't conquered this one, but I am learning that His yoke is easy, and His burden is light.
For years I lived under the assumption that everyone just looooved me! (I was fortunate to be somewhat popular in school and I have many loving lifetime friends who add to my life daily. I know that I am very blessed.) Then I grew up and came to the abrupt revelation that there are people who were raised differently than me with different insights, abilities, and patterns of thought. I will meet new people throughout all the stages of my life and they will not know all that I am. They will form judgements of me through the words of others, or through misperceived judgements of their limited interactions with me. There will ultimately be a thousand other reasons why some people will just never click with me! Not everyone will agree with me on every level, and often I must agree to disagree! In fact, I must accept the profound revelation that not everyone I come in contact with is going to love me. I will face many people along the way who choose to have very little interaction with me at all. They are uncomfortable around me for whatever reason and it is most likely through no fault of my own. I cannot do enough random acts of kindness to change that fact! I must realize this is simply a part of humanity and I am not alone in this boat of life. Every single person alive faces these same issues. Some are able to deal with it better than others. I want to be one who deals with this level of insecurity by taking it to the One who created me, the One who knows how to fix me, in ALL my insecurities!
Several years ago I read a thought that I have tried to make part of my process when it comes to those who don't respond to my personality in the way I think they should. To put it more boldly, they do not like me, or even worse, they remain completely indifferent to me regardless of the effort I put into gaining their affection. The following is not a direct quote, but the main point:
If someone does not like something about you, there is not much you can do to change the situation. You must learn to accept that there are people who will never embrace your particular personality. Ask God to mold you into the best person you can be, but accept that there will always be people with whom you will never be able to build a relationship. No matter how you may reach out to them they will not respond to your efforts. You will walk away feeling rejected and bruised. That is a given! Saddle up and RIDE anyway! However, you must not let bitterness fill that void in your heart that rejection has dug. You are still required to give them grace enough to allow them to not like you! You must, in your heart, say to them;
"It is okay that you do not like me, but it is your problem, and I will let YOU deal with it.
I will not waste one more moment trying to change anything about myself to conform
enough to fall into your graces!"
When you fully come to those terms, you will be freed to move on! The reasons another has for not liking you is their problem, not yours. The sooner you grasp this, the happier you will be, and the more free you will feel. If you are truly walking in Christ and trying daily to please HIM, then you cannot spend time fretting over these trivial matters of who may or may not like you, or what you can do to fall into their graces.
Sadly, often the reasons for someone not liking you are their own naughty bunnies they have not yet slain! Jealousy, malice, envy, pride! I will add that quite possibly they feel threatened by you on some level. (jealousy, envy). Sometimes I find that the people who do not care for me are those who are most like me... and vice versa! However I make it a strong point to never show my distaste for them, for I see myself in them. That often leads me to the conclusion they are being just as critical about me as I am about them. And I am often wrong! Be very careful not to compare yourself to anyone, or you will find yourself entrapped in this vicious cycle for far too long and much damage will be done before you realize the err of your way.
... read between those lines! haha!
I have heard that if you want to win someone's affection, give a tangible gift to the person.
Proverbs 18:16 "A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men."
I have given and given and given! And I will continue to do so, because it is my nature, but I have also learned there are people who it will not move emotionally in the direction I wish. At least they will never let you know that it does. Those are the people who have problems that I cannot fix. I must completely place them in the hands of God. They will just have to deal with their own problem. I cannot give enough, pray enough, change enough, or help them in any way to overcome their problem with me. It is just a personality conflict that I will have to learn to live with and remain victorious over, regardless of how anyone else feels about me. I pray often that God blinds me to any one or any thing that distracts me from being obedient to Him.
Often we feel compelled to go to the person to talk the situation over. It is certainly within reason to do so, but I have seldom found it to be helpful. I have left feeling more vulnerable and empty and become a target for more of their naughty bunny tactics! Often they do not even realize the animosity they feel toward you, so when you approach them, it immediately puts them on the defensive. You may then find a whole world of anger dumped on you! Trust me, I have tried "the talk" and have come away with bear claw marks that left gaping scars even worse than the original offense. Don't misunderstand me, I am not referring to misunderstanding caused by actions that you need to repair. I am talking about personality conflict itself, not an actual situation that may have caused a rift. The Bible strongly guides us to go and talk together and do your best to repair these damages. The subject I refer to in this blog is about insecurity that causes you to feel you must do something to win the attention, approval, or affection of someone whose continual rejections cause you a great deal of heart pain. It is not pleasing to God to walk in this type of pain. You should accept it as your responsibility to free yourself from the yoke of pain, and recognize it as an opportunity to experience a different level of love from God Himself, a love that He requires you to learn of Him. It is entirely possible to come to a sincere love for any person regardless of whether they feel the same toward you, for we are commanded to love one another! There is no getting around this. This part of the equation is YOUR problem to solve! You must do the work in prayer with obedience to God in order to resolve it within your own heart.
I prayed recently and told God that this issue seemed to be a yoke of bondage around my neck. His response was... "Let that yoke guide you! It is for your protection!" OK! Wow! That is one of the most relevant words God has EVER spoken to me. I have begun to thank Him for the "Yoke"! I found it is only through that act of thanksgiving that I am able to overcome and share this with you today. It is in the process of cleaning out my heart and filling it with thanksgiving, that I am freed from the bondage of this particular insecurity! The yoke is still in place but the GUIDE is my loving God and with that realization I have been able to move freely in my life doing His work without seeking others approval, love, or even guidance! In so doing, I have found more love, approval, and guidance coming to me from those who genuinely love me and have my best interests at heart!
Often we try to attach ourselves to those who everyone seems to admire or respect, or who holds a particular level of status. We think if they approve of us, then the Hand of God's approval will rest upon us. No greater level of wrong ever existed! It is not the approval of man that we must yearn for, seek after. If Christ approves of me, flows through me, and blesses others through me, what other approval do I need? No one else's opinion of me should matter. I have alluded to this in previous posts, but today I am nailing it on the head. DO NOT SEEK AFTER THE APPROVAL OF MAN! Galatians 1:10 "For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ." Often times in pleasing Christ you will displease man. You should be prepared for this because you must stand your ground! Again, "Be ye strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might!" Ephesians 6:10
There will always be people who do not respond to my particular brand of humor, personality, communication, blogging! lol! Yep! There will always be a few usual suspects who only read my blog so they can find more opportunity to disagree with me or prove me wrong. That is ok! I put myself out there fully aware that when I am effectively working for the Lord, I must accept there will be many fiery darts which come my way. I know how to dodge them, and it makes me more agile! So... Keep em comin'! I need the exercise! I have become secure in HIM so nothing can shake me or dissuade me from His purpose for me. I will not stop, back down, run in fear, be frozen in my commitment! I will not be governed by bitterness, resentment or any other naughty bunnies who try to foil me with their silly plots. Jesus Christ is God and Governor of my life. He is my guide and I know beyond the shadow of doubt, that He is calling me, equipping me and leading me into territory I have not yet discovered! With this knowledge I will strive to remain humble to His leading, accepting to any word He sends my way through any avenue. I will remain willing to turn the other cheek if my yoke so nudges me! I still have a way to go, but I am further than when I began! My security is in His grace!
"Your grace and mercy, brought me through.
I'm living this moment because of YOU!
I'm living this moment because of YOU!
I want to thank you, and praise you too!
Your grace and mercy has brought me through."
Your grace and mercy has brought me through."
And now I will stop and sit at His feet for awhile and let Him place His yoke upon me once again, and I will bear it with the same mercy and grace He has shown me. I will follow His lead and go through whatever door He so chooses to open unto me for I must be obedient to His yoke.
Hope this helps someone who is struggling in this area of insecurity! Look to Him! He will guide you. His yoke is easy and He will make the burden light! It is for your protection!
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